mlah The “culture” that has evolved here isn’t conducive to sissies

March 7, 2009

Don’t Hate the Player, Hate the Game

Filed under: Personal,Politics — mlah @ 5:43 pm

Belly Dancer

Playah haytah

I am a player hater

And proud of it.

“don’t be a playah haytah!” is a commonly heard mantra spoken especially by today’s youth. I hate this saying.

Thing is, most of the people saying it don’t realize what it means. Or even care really. They just repeat it blindly, especially since it gives them carte blanche to do pretty much anything they want.

Let’s break it down.

Don’t be a player hater.

The player. The player is used to identify with the individual. The old bait and switch at work here. Most commonly, this phrase is uttered by a guy in reference to his sexual promiscuity. “Players”  are guys who have multiple girls, or in simpler words, a guy who cheats on his girlfriend/fiancé/wife.  It is very easy to get a guy to subscribe to this mantra because well, we all want to be the guy who has 20 girls, and a couple more on the side. Preferably all models and strippers, with the one nice girl at home to iron our shirts.

Sorry, but this is the mindset that “don’t be a playah haytah” condones.

But don’t hate the player? Why not? Because it isn’t the player’s fault. It’s not the player’s fault. It’s never the player’s fault. He’s just playing the game.

It’s the game’s fault. Or more specifically, it is the people who setup the rules for game’s fault.

And just who sets up the rules for the game? Society does.

So it’s not the players fault that he’s a dog, it’s societies fault that he is a dog by setting up rules which allow dogs to prosper and conduct themselves as dogs.

And now. This mantra is bleeding out of the realm of guys sleeping around, to just about every aspect of life.

Want a promotion? Fuck over a coworker. They don’t like it? Hey! Don’t hate the playah!

Want something?  Take it! It was someone else’s? too bad, don’t hate me, I’m just playing the game!

But this mantra speaks to more than just dogs trying to get sex, or assholes trying to get ahead. It speaks to politics.

When you talk about raising children, it is very often asserted that “it takes a village”. And the inference is liberal socialist dogma. Society is more effective in raising children than just simple pairs of parents.

It is the liberal socialist belief that society is more efficient, or better, than parents. It is an assertion that society, or the collective, trumps individual rights and responsibilities.

When you talk about punishing criminals it is commonly asserted by defense attorney’s  that they were shorted some opportunity by society, that somehow society has deprived them of chances or knowledge commonly available to others, so it isn’t their fault they committed some crime. It is society’s fault

This is what “Don’t be a Player Hater” really means.

It’s not my fault I was walking around town and kept casually bumping into strange women and having sex with them. It is society’s fault.

Well, as many of you know, I am absolutely not a socialist. I am a realist.

It IS the player’s fault.

The PLAYER is supposed to conduct himself decently. If the player does something less than respectable, or assholish, it is HIS conduct.

The player, ie “Man”, when confronted with a choice involving a moral dilemma is supposed to do what is “right”. If the Man (Player) chooses otherwise, own up to it. Admit your mistake. Make it right. Hard choice? Hard to admit your error? Too bad, jump up and down, let the world hear the big brass ones and do it anyway. Don’t have any? Borrow some, strap some on if you have to. Do what’s right.

It is not society’s fault when I make a mistake. It is not society’s fault when I misbehave. And most importantly, society is the collective. It is the sum total of its individuals. Which we are all a part of.  So when someone blames society for their own misconduct or mal choices, they are in effect blaming me, and blaming YOU.

Now, ask yourself when I stroll down Durango here in San Antonio, and I randomly bump into women and sex them up, is it your fault they got pregnant?

Hey! Don’t hate the playah! Hayt the game!


I hate the player. And I tell them so.


  1. Yeah… I hate when people misuse terms, or use terms that are odious but they have no idea what they mean.

    Like one time I was talking to my Aunt, a sweet, soft-spoken lady, and she casually mentioned some ‘gang-bangers’ down the way.

    I was shocked! I wanted to say, “Do you know what that means? Yeah, I know it’s a cutesy rhyme, but geez!”

    Comment by Dz — March 10, 2009 @ 2:05 am

  2. Yeah, i absolutely agree with you.

    Comment by J — May 22, 2009 @ 2:27 am

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