mlah The “culture” that has evolved here isn’t conducive to sissies

May 1, 2007

Southern Boys

Filed under: Humor — mlah @ 10:48 pm

these made me laugh. and as i am liable to have some visitors this summer who have never been south of dc, i thought i might give them a head start on expectations 

 

30. Oh I just couldn’t, she’s only sixteen (not for you)

 

29. I’ll take Shakespeare for 1000, Alex (i love jeapordy)

 

28. Duct tape won’t fix that

 

27. Come to think of it, I’ll have a Heineken (i like hiney)

 

26. We don’t keep firearms in this house (i do)

 

25. You can’t feed that to the dog

 

24. No kids in the back of the pickup, it’s just not safe ( i rode in the back of a pickup all the time as a youngster)

 

23. Wrestling is fake (yep)

 

22. We’re vegetarians

 

21. Do you think my gut is too big?

 

20. I’ll have grapefruit & grapes instead of biscuits & gravy (can i have all 4)

 

19. Honey, we don’t need another dog

 

18. Who gives a damn who won the Civil War? (it ain’t over yet!)

 

17. Give me the small bag of pork rinds (no thanks)

 

16. Too many deer heads detract from the decor ( yes, they do)

 

15. I just couldn’t find a thing at Wal-Mart today

 

14. Trim the fat off that steak

 

13. Cappuccino tastes better than espresso (cafe con leche, por favor! spain style)

 

12. The tires on that truck are too big

 

11. I’ve got it all n the C: drive (and d: and h: and my other 3 computers)

 

10. Unsweetened tea tastes better (yes, i drink it unsweetened)

 

9. My fiancée, Bobbie Jo, is registered at Tiffany’s

 

8. I’ve got two cases of Zima for the Super Bowl (hate zima)

 

7. Checkmate ( i love chess and collect chess sets)

 

6. She’s too young to be wearing a bikini

 

5. Hey, here’s an episode of “Hee Haw” that we haven’t seen ( i’ve seen a bunch, but can’t remember many specific episodes)

 

4. I don’t have a favorite college team (oklahoma SOONERS baby!)

 

3. You Guys

 

2. Those shorts ought to be a little longer, Betty Mae

 

and the #1 thing y’ll’ll never hear a southern boy say…..

 

1. Nope, no more for me thank you, I’m driving!

3 Comments »

  1. “18. Who gives a damn who won the Civil War?”
    Oh, so you’re talking solely about *white* southern boys…

    Comment by Gus — May 2, 2007 @ 11:17 pm

  2. Hey pasty-white-Yankee computer-geek-who-works-for-New York State- liberal-bisexual-wiccan-raver-boi Gus, obviously you don’t know anything about the culture of the American South. Black Southerners generally don’t call themselves “Southern Boys.” It’s a cultural thing. Just like white boys in New York City don’t hail each other as “my ni**er.”

    Comment by yup — May 3, 2007 @ 11:05 am

  3. yup: “Black Southerners generally don’t call themselves ‘Southern Boys.’”
    I never said they did, jerkoff.

    Comment by Gus — May 11, 2007 @ 1:08 am

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