mlah The “culture” that has evolved here isn’t conducive to sissies

September 6, 2006

Tips for Guys

Filed under: Humor,Women — mlah @ 11:24 pm

hey, i found this little how to on girls. a little guide on what girls want. and always aiming to please the fairer sex, in an effort to get the fairer sex to please me….. i took some of these tips to heart.

but some of them are just so far from my experience, i thought it necesary to post them here…. with my interpretations, for y’alls enjoyment.

i’ve added my comments in italics

  • When a girl can sense your lack of interest, or thinks that you have lost interest, she will in turn lose interest. fair enough. how do i get her interest to start with?
  • The act of seducing men is a game. They do not stop once they are ‘dating’ you, they then change the way they play the game. All they want is your attention. Give it to them, and then they won’t play games with you.
    • Playing includes ignoring you for a period of time, not returning your calls, making you call them first, giving you subtle hints as to what they want, etc.
    • To solve this problem, ask. Don’t be afraid to ask or to call them. Show them the attention there are craving, show them that you are thinking about them and you do care.
  • Learn these few simple translations.
    • “I’m bored” = “entertain me” this is true enough
    • “I’m cold” = “warm me up”/“put your arm around me” in my past, i’ve found that the statement, ‘i’m cold’ usually translates to something like, i can’t find my pants, or how did i wind up naked in public?
    • “We never talk”/“You never call me” = “Call me please” once again. this is a little different for me. while the translation may be true for y’all femmes, when the guy stops talking it uaually means he can’r get a word n edgewise, or that he is so afraid of saying anything around you, he finds it easier to shut up and avoid the necesary ass kissing up front.
    • “I miss you” = “I’m thinking about you, and I need you right now” yay! this has always been a good thing to hear your girl say. i’ve never had a bad experience as a result of this sentence.
  • Note that in text messaging, punctuation means a lot.
    • “!” means genuine excitement and that she is in a good mood.
    • “.” If out of character (such as she never uses them) means she is in a bad mood
    • “ ” no punctuation is in the middle. Depends on what it is added to. If to a normally punctuated phrase such as “Have fun!” and it is just “have fun”, chances are she does not want you to have fun, she is just saying it to be nice. Be wary of this one. holy shit! i have to pay attentionto punctuation in emails and text messaging?
  • When discussing topics you don’t want to talk about, make her feel bad about the topic a few times (1-3 times) and she will never bring it up again. However, do not change your mind then want to talk about it. She will remember how you made her feel that last few times you talked about it, so you had better do most the talking the first few times you bring it up, then she might warm back up to the conversation topic.
  • When a girl tells you what music she is listening to, take note, it denotes her mood. She will take the lyrics to songs seriously and if she is identifying with them, then she will listen to them constantly. So make sure you notice to the mood of the song/music she is listening to. Girls take their music seriously, and it may give hint to how you should react to her. sheez, i have to listen to lyrics?
  • When girls do something for you, typically they want it done back. For example, if they call you, they probably want you to call them back. Chances are, they won’t call you again until you call them. Also, they wish you good luck, tell you to have a good day, say “I love you”, etc. That means they want to hear it back. If they send you mail, they want to get some back. ok, so how come girls don’t do the same? we’re willing to do a whole bunch of stuff with girls, but they never do it back!
  • There are some things you can tell girls, and some things you can’t. It’s fine to tell them you are hanging out with your guy friends, shooting pool, bike riding, etc. All fine. It is advised that you don’t mention when you hang out with girls, unless they are aware that you are good friends with girls and hang out with them often. It is a VERY BAD IDEA to tell girls when you are hanging out with your ex-girlfriend, or that you were talking, and especially bad to mention what you were talking about. You should be able to tell you girl anything, and she will let you, she will understand, but if you don’t want to make her feel very low, it I better to just leave any comments about your ex to yourself. Find someone else to tell, and complain about it to. While your girl may listen, she will have a very hard time not wanting to scream/cry/hit you/yell at you. Be considerate, please. i find it better, mor and more often, to just shut up. at least til i figure out what it is a girl thinks i should say.
  • Show effort. Effort may be just a phone call, a text, a pix message, something to show them you are thinking of them or miss them. That’s all they need to stay happy. Really. They just want to know you care. this one is obvious to me. at least most of the time


  1. oh screw it, us women are too complicated…I say stick with men…lol

    Comment by KaraMia — September 7, 2006 @ 4:51 pm

  2. I think those are fantastic tips! The writer must be been very knowledgable in the ways of the female. Where did you find this anyway?

    Comment by Kandi — September 7, 2006 @ 5:15 pm

  3. maybe i really am just a weird girl, but none of those work for me. I’m cold means “shit its cold in here” and punctuation in emails is normal… songs i like because i like them not because of some deep lyrics or shit… I’m weird. 😉

    Comment by alli — September 7, 2006 @ 10:13 pm

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