mlah The “culture” that has evolved here isn’t conducive to sissies

August 13, 2006

Brunette Joke

Filed under: Humor — mlah @ 5:10 pm

so i’m going to post a couple of dirty jokes.

stop reading now if you don’t want to be offended.

so there’s this brunette.

she goes into a sex shop because well, the blondes had all the men, and she needed a little help.

so she went in and started browsing. and all they had were the same old toys. she walked down the aisle, and looked from left to right and all there were, were the same old dilos, strap ons, lube, sex clothes. whips and things.

but she was looking for something new. so she went to the counter and asked the salesperson.

look, um, hey. i’ve tried all of these and i just can’t get what i need. sp zelda, the salesgirl told her to keep looking. which she did,. and then returned to the counter around half an hour later.

look, zelda, i’m serious. i need soemthing different. the black and decker toys ahve just losat their effect. now, if you can’t help me, can you dirct me to somewhere that can.

so zelda looks around. she does the classic head check left and right, and speaks in a hushed tone. she says that if she’s really serious, she has the item, but that she has in fact sold this item more than 30 times. and each time it gets returned because the owner cannot handle it.

the brunette considers the implications of a used item. 30 diefferent people. but NONE of them could handle the relic. she’s definitely interested. and asks more. she pushes the clerk, who tries to retract her offer. the more she thinks about it, the more the clerk doesn’t want to sell it. she’s just tired of the refund process.

but the brunette will not be denied. she keeps after the sales clerk til she laments and agrees to tell her more.

the relic is called the voodoo penis. and she was very specific about it. she said the voodoo penis has magical powers. you speak certain commands, and the voodoo penis obeys. and she pulled out a list of commands.

the first two were “voodoo penis in!” and “voodoo penis out!”

the brunette bought the voodoo penis.

she took it out to the car, and on her way home she couldn’t help herself. she took the box out of the sack and opened it. she lifted up her miniskirt, and pulled off her panties. then she said it.

“voodoo penis in!”

voodoo penis shot to her crotch and started pumping. it was absolutely incredible, like nothing she’d ever experienced before. after three mind-shattering orgasms, she became very exhausted and decided she’d had enough.

She tried to pull it out, but it was stuck in her, still thrusting. She tried and tried to get it out, but nothing worked. she had forgotten to the command to make it stop. and she was driving verrrry erratically as a result.
A police officer saw this and immediately pulled her over. He asked for her license, and then asked how much she’d had to drink.

gasping and twitching, she explained, “I haven’t had anything to drink, officer. You see, I’ve got this voodoo penis thing stuck in my crotch and it won’t stop screwing me!”

the cop looked at her for a second, shook his head in disbelief and in an arrogant voice replied, “yeah, right… voodoo penis, my ass!”

6 Comments »

  1. wow you’re right, that is dirty. and darn funny at the very same time!

    Comment by Kandy — August 13, 2006 @ 4:54 pm

  2. Dude, that was hilarious as hell!

    Comment by Patrick — August 13, 2006 @ 8:08 pm

  3. Haha, I think I’ve heard that one before but it’s still funny.

    Comment by Blondie — August 14, 2006 @ 9:43 am

  4. haha
    talk about getting screwed…hehe

    Comment by KaraMia — August 14, 2006 @ 4:36 pm

  5. That joke is at least 50 years old!! Ive heard it many,MANY times. Dad

    Comment by savagemod99 — August 14, 2006 @ 5:36 pm

  6. I am shocked, SHOCKED I tell you…

    LMAO but shocked none the less… Good one.. 🙂

    Comment by TexasFred — August 17, 2006 @ 12:23 am

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