mlah The “culture” that has evolved here isn’t conducive to sissies

June 15, 2006

Jasmine

Filed under: Humor,Women — mlah @ 5:38 pm

so this girl who sits beside me at work today mentioned that her birthday is coming up. just a month or two.

then she drops the not so blatant hint that she expects to get to do some jello wrestling on her birthday.

imagine the oh, 14000 thoughts that went through my mind in the following second. mostly centered around how i could possibly help this poor girl in need and help her to realize her birthday wishes. the dilemna.

then i think about the logistics, like the cleanup and the problem of having refrigerator space necesary to chill that much jello. so i make the quick mental switch from jello to oil. and then i think about the cleanup from that, involving God only knows (100-150 gallons?) how much crisco i’d need. and the inevitability that a large part of it will wind up flowing down my driveway. the cleanup for that could be daunting.

so then i thought about good old fashioned mud. it’s realtively free. i mean it’s dirt. just add water!

so i made my proposal to birthday girl, and she said no, it had to be jello, because it’s just not the right birthday gift to get to lick mud from another girl’s body.

so jello it will be.

anybody want to come visit in august?

13 Comments »

  1. What an odd request for a birthday gift! Jello wrestling. I think the oddest request I made was that people stfu and leave me alone. *shrugs*

    Comment by Jen — June 15, 2006 @ 10:32 pm

  2. I am so there.

    Comment by Russ — June 16, 2006 @ 10:04 am

  3. Only you, Mlah, only you.

    Comment by Madame Butterfly — June 16, 2006 @ 12:57 pm

  4. me me me!!! I’ll bring some jello…

    Comment by Mark — June 16, 2006 @ 4:55 pm

  5. Actually it wouldn’t take as much jello as you would think. Probably only enough for a kiddie pool. Several large cake pans worth. You don’t need to be up to your waist or anything, just enough to get messy. Oh and I highly recommend lime jello. ๐Ÿ˜‰

    Comment by Becky — June 16, 2006 @ 5:21 pm

  6. Is she hot? I’ll wrestle in Jello with her! It might not be fair though, since i’ve done it before…

    ๐Ÿ˜‰

    Comment by SeLiNa — June 16, 2006 @ 8:48 pm

  7. mmmmm…jello………

    Comment by yup — June 17, 2006 @ 9:58 am

  8. How about chocolate pudding? It smears more nicely. Jello just seems like it would be clumpy and sort of gross. Chocolate pudding on the other hand, would cling and go nice places. ๐Ÿ™‚

    Comment by moonbatty — June 17, 2006 @ 2:09 pm

  9. Use lime jello. There are good reasons for this, trust me.

    Comment by og — June 18, 2006 @ 11:34 am

  10. dibs.

    Comment by medium john — June 18, 2006 @ 11:39 am

  11. Lime.

    Comment by JS — June 20, 2006 @ 12:08 am

  12. What is it about LIME jello?

    Comment by Blondie — June 21, 2006 @ 7:23 am

  13. and jesse makes another appearance! he hasn’t created an account yet. so he can see all of the posts though. he has to leave an email address for that.

    Comment by mlah — June 25, 2006 @ 8:06 pm

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