mlah The “culture” that has evolved here isn’t conducive to sissies

December 20, 2005

Karate Must Die

Filed under: Sports — mlah @ 10:10 pm

yeah, i was in a DoD agency today. no, not the usual one i work for but a different one, so i was meeting new people.

and my coworker made some comment about tkd not being a martial art, but being a sport.

what a tard.

so i had to sit there for an hour and listen to three karate asshats tell me that i don’t know any martial arts, when truth be told, i’d have whipped all three at the same time if i felt like.

i’m so tired of karate people who keep telling me what i do and don’t know.

i swear i’m about to start jack slapping karate people around. i’m just worried about what judge judy will say when i have to stand in front of her as a defendant.

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mr mlah, do you have a temper?

no, your honor, and might i say how stunning you are in your black robe this morning, have you lost weight?

DO YOU THINK YOU’RE SMARTER THAN ME?! because i assure you mr, mlah, you are NOT. i’ve been around a lot longer than you have, and i can smell crap as soon as you say it. now, you have a temper don’t you mr mlah.

no your honor.

LIAR! this poor 3rd degree black belt in karate informed you of the ineptness of tkd and you bitch slapped him around the room. now, admit it mr mlah. did you bitch slap this young man around the room?

yes your honor, i did….

Ah HA! so you admit you have a temper?!

no your honor, well, i mean…. he keeps insulting me.

i don’t care mr mlah. judgement for the plaintiff in the amount of 5000 dollars.

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and so i don’t jack slap them.

look, i don’t care if some schools give 3rd degree black belts to little 8 year old girls. that has no bearing on my ability to deliver blunt force trauma, very rapidly, to places on your body where it will hurt. badly.

martial arts is what YOU make of it. i look at some black belts in my current school and i think to myself that they’d get killed if they got in a fight. they know just enough to piss off their attacker, and think they are badass. and i look at others who are lowly green belts, and they’d own the black belts i just spoke about.

some people are determined. some people work hard. some people listen when an instructor tells you how to apply a strike. some people remember, and practice it.

other tards attend class, pay for their belt, and think they’re bad.

there was a karate class in my old tkd school. they were cool. it was an open exchange of techniques. i respected those guys.

i’m going to start beating the crap out of some karate people. or at least, i’m going to offer an educational session in the mat room with me.

1 Comment »

  1. Hear hear! Karate people are weird too. They’re always all hairy and stuff. That’s one thing I think about when I see them. They’re all hairy. And you can just tell that they watch Star Trek. Ugh.

    Comment by medium john — December 21, 2005 @ 9:25 am

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