mlah The “culture” that has evolved here isn’t conducive to sissies

December 13, 2005

Time Traveler

Filed under: Humor — mlah @ 7:17 pm

y’all ever traveled in time?

i did over the weekend.

15 months ago i moved from crofton, maryland to san antonio. i don’t really miss anything except for my old taekwondo school

i went back on thursday to visit. it’s been 15 months.

now, shortly after i made blue belt, the master instructor had me start help teaching class. but not my class. he had me working with the kids.

the black belts still taught class, but i was there to help maintain discipline.

really i just played with the kids. i would ply them with coke (the drink for you liberals) and sugar and watch them go. hell, i didn’t watch them except in class.

but our school had a special practice on saturdays. it was a nasty 2 hour class. it was only for the students who went to touranments. the extra 2 hour class was like a whole week.

but the kids in this class were tough as nails. have y’all ever watched a kid running windsprints at 9:30 in the morning, in 40 degree weather, sprint through a heat, head straight for the trees, blow chow, and then get back in line to run some more? we had to make him stop.

i knew all of these kids. they’re my buddies.

i left 15 months ago. all those kids are stuck in my head just the way they were then.

so on thursday, i stepped forward in time more than a year.

i landed at bwi, went and unpacked, put on my uniform and black belt. and went to help teach class.

my little buddies are still there. and they’re so big. one of my favorite girls, because she is just fearless, had grown around an entire foot! she was so tiny and petite, and would just rock other kids. she’s quick, strong and has good instincts. she used to hardly ever talk. i used to make it a point to talk to her every practice. just to try and get her to hold a conversation.

she’s a little bit of a smartass now. which is cool. they’ve all progressed in belts too. LOTS of hard work. lots of sweat.

so thursday night it snowed. class on friday was canx’d. so i didn’t get to teach again. friday night we went out clubbing. we went to club ‘pearl’ on 9th street in dc. nice club, but i’m not much of a dancer. and the group i was with only danced to the rap songs. everytime they played ‘dance’, my group sat down.

The posse at Pearl Nightclub

they made me dance to rap though. i’d say i shook my booty, but i’d be lieing. i kind of jerked and hopped around to the yelling a little. how do you dance to rap?

we got home at 4.

and the hammer fell

they woke me up at 8, and made me go to saturday practice. i almost threw up once. faded lots of times. the kids dogged me out. but it was good to see them all again. i took a few cheap shots.

at 11 practice was over. or so i thought.

the school ran a babysitting service on this day. they charged around 10 bucks a head or something, and parents dropped their kids off for 3 hours. parents then went christmas shopping. the three hours was an easy tkd practice.

so i practiced 5 hours.

wasn’t that bad though. during the three hour session i got to play freeze tag, and DODGEBALL. how many of you have gotten to do that since 6th grade?

some more people dropped by to see me. a girl i have been competing with almost since starting tkd dropped by. we keep passing each other up in belts. she’s 16 or so going on 17 now and absolutely gorgeous. i heard more than a couple of people compare her to emma watson while i was there. and they’re right. i think she’s better looking though. her parents are in soooo much trouble. i’ve posted pics of her up here before. but she was wearing battle armor and was actively kicking some other poor girl in the melon.

so saturday, medium john stopped by. yes, the medium john who comments here from time to time. big john too. he used to comment a little, but not in a long time. we hung out, had good vietnamese beef curry soup, and vietnamese shrimp salad. and remembered old times.

then mike stopped by and we went out again. and as al bundy would say, we went to the nudie bar. we went to nightshift up in baltimore. and i got to buy medium john a lapdance. we were all going to take him out on his 18th, and get him shitty, then throw cheap women at him.

i moved. they took him out. so saturday i got to make up some lost time.

i’m not going into the specifics. i’ll just say we had a good time. afterwards, as we drove home, scott and andy (heh, i told you guys i was posting this) hung out each side of the range rover blowing chow as we drove down 97.

we pissed off more than a couple of cars!

then we went to the car wash, and had a little more projectile dry heaves in the tkd school.

it was a wonderful night!

i had to catch my plane out of bwi at 6 am sunday morning. bad planning on my part.

it was really good to see dorothy, big john, rose, mike, gar, john daily and everybody else. especially my little buddies.

i was hoping to see, but didn’t get to see jeanna, and all the rest of my old adult class as class was canx’d on friday. i’ll just have to go back in the summer.

they gave me my black belt from that school. they had it hanging on the wall for almost three years. i wore it last night to practice.

oh, and medium john picked up a stripper.


  1. I’m meeting her on Friday.


    Comment by medium john — December 13, 2005 @ 11:47 pm

  2. sounds like fun, mlah.

    how do you dance to rap?

    you use your hips, silly.

    Comment by kiddo — December 14, 2005 @ 11:24 am

  3. so are you saying that you can kick some ass?

    Comment by Craig — December 16, 2005 @ 1:55 am

  4. I wish I could say my trip here to MD has been that exciting, but it hasn’t. Between class, and a butt load of migraines hitting me, my most exciting thing will to hopefully go get a pedicure.

    Comment by Madame Butterfly — December 16, 2005 @ 4:23 pm

  5. Of course he can kick ass Craig, otherwise he wouldn’t have gotten his black belt from our school.

    Comment by medium john — December 17, 2005 @ 8:51 pm

  6. omgz. OMGZ!

    I would have rocked your ass in dancing to actual music. None of this rap crap that makes one simulate sexual moves, only with clothes on.

    Comment by Jeanna — December 19, 2005 @ 10:46 pm

  7. Ugh, please Jeanna, you can’t dance.

    Comment by medium john — December 20, 2005 @ 3:06 pm

  8. This coming from John, the whitest, most awkward human being on the East side of the Mississippi River.

    I don’t believe you’ve ever had a dance-off with me becuase I would have schooled your skinny ass three times over. THREE TIMES! Almost four, but I didn’t want to hurt what’s left of your ego.

    Comment by Jeanna — December 24, 2005 @ 8:57 pm

  9. Did you know that Rover, the car company, has been bought out by the Chinese (Nanjing Auto Works)? Just a thought.

    Comment by yup — December 27, 2005 @ 2:56 pm

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