mlah The “culture” that has evolved here isn’t conducive to sissies

October 15, 2004

Shooting the Rag

Filed under: Sea Stories — mlah @ 12:39 am

been a while since i related a sea story.

sorry for the lack of pics, but my household goods are still in storage awaiting the christening of casa dave. 28th. 10am.

my first tour in spain, we used to drink a lot.

a lot.

oh man, how i wrecked my body.

i would usually make my way over to the ‘twawsi’ house in the evening.

i think i’ve explained it before, but here it is again. TWAWSI: the world as we see it. and that’s in contrast to twatsi, the world as they see it.

just a bunch of boozers taking care of business.

anyway, i’d make my way over to the twawsi house. everybody would be hungover. badly.

no way in hell we would go out boozing again.

so after a little darts, somebody would have a beer. you know, a little of the hair of the dog that bit ’em.

and then somebody else.

then finally, we’d all be sitting around, buzzed. and we’d be on our way uptown. cause uptown was the bomb my first tour.

and of course, we’d run into a whole shit-ton of friends uptown.

now, typical modus operandi for our nightly soire’s was really simple. somebody would buy a round of beer, and a pitcher of kamikaze’s. we’d take turns in the traditional american fashion.

i always tried to engineer my turn to buy in bar ‘california’, because i was sweet on this girl named esther. she was hot. and she always gave us extra vodka in our kamikaze’s.

one night, after a mild night of boozing, which would no doubt have crippled most americans. we found ourselves in bar california.

no, not that. you guys are sick!

i bought. and esther served up our kamikaze’s. we had a round of 6-7 shots and she refilled the pitcher with straight vodka. nice.

and a friend, who shall remain nameless, (but his initials are JASON HAGMAN) started pouring the next round. and he was missing the damn shot glasses. i suspect that he was just afraid of the alcohol and was trying to spill as much as possible in order to avoid drinking it.

so he spilled. and spilled. and i bitched.

we drank and he poured some more. and he spilled. and we bitched.

now, a quick little explanation. when you bought a pitcher of kamikaze’s, they gave you the pitcher, obviously, and they also gave you as many shot glasses as you needed. they also would put this crappy spongy bar rag underneath it all, cause like, they knew we were hammered.

yeah, this is the rag in question.

jason poured more shots. and spilled.

after a short amount of time, the pitcher was done. and i was a little pissed at jay’s poor aim.

so i whipped up the bar rag. which was soaked. and i started wringing it out.

into a shot glass.

and the noxious kamikaze remnant was running all over my arm, and generally going everywhere EXCEPT into the shot glass.

and then jay fucked up.

guys, don’t make boosts when you’re drunk, and in a group of drunk friends. peer pressure is an inexorable force at that point.

jay made the offhanded comment. “mlah, if you can get a shot out of that, i’ll drink it”

well, i finished wringing the rag out. and had half a glass. and a whole slew of kamikaze remnant all around the glass.

jay laughed at me, and then choked, as i calmly moved the shot glass away, and wiped up the remnant once more and continued to wring it into the glass.

so imagine this.

one very scared and drunk individual holding a nasty shot glass of soapy kamikaze remnant, and a fresh cold beer chaser at the ready. one very satisfied, grinning mlah, intently waiting for his revenge, and with a fresh cold beer chaser.

and an entire bar full of drunken sailors standing around watching, laughing, and CHANTING,

“shootin the rag, shootin the rag”

to the tune of “breakin the law, breakin the law” beavis and butthead style.

he didn’t like it.

but shooting the rag became a bit of a litmus test for twawsi members. we would intentionally spill kamikaze. and run a lotto style selection process to see who would win the ‘rag’

yes, i have. 3 times.

jay is up in austin. i’m going to try and hook up with him on all hallow’s eve.

it could be REALLY ugly on 6th street.

3 Comments »

  1. MLAH-more drinking stories from Spain huh? Looks like you really miss the old days…

    Comment by blondie — October 17, 2004 @ 6:34 am

  2. i was beginning to even wonder if anyone read this one!

    Comment by mlah — October 17, 2004 @ 11:23 am

  3. My liver shudders…..

    Comment by yup — October 18, 2004 @ 7:14 am

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