mlah The “culture” that has evolved here isn’t conducive to sissies

April 14, 2004

Revolution in Iran!

Filed under: Politics — mlah @ 9:26 pm

Sara Mahjoudebad from Shiraz

ok, first off, a freind of a friend is working on her doctorate at v tech. she needs people to fill out her psych survey. so please go here and fill out her survey. i said something about consoling myself when depressed with hookers and strippers. hope she passes. have fun with it!

now for iran.

for those of you who don’t already know. moxie has been spilling all of the vast right wing conspiracy (vrwc) secrets. and i figured, hell, if she can do it, so can i. after all, what has she got that i don’t? aside from perfect legs and a ‘smokin hot body’?

so here goes. out here in dc, where i am a member of the dcvrwc chapter, i am privileged to help organize strategy and policy mixers. basically, we all mill around, talk smack about the poor, and sip mixed drinks served up by illegal immigrants. we have the illegals deported immediately after the party, that’s how we keep these things secret!

well, i’m not going to name names as far as attendees, except for julio, my waiter for the evening.

last sunday, (and you atheists thought we were all at church!) the topic of the next target on dubya’s list was pushed to the forefront. we’ve been considering it for a while now. but julio spilled half a bottle of wine on a government officlas wife. words were shouted and threats were made. families were hussled off to buses destined for the border.

after all of the yelling had subsided, it was discovered that the wine was ‘shiraz’. the wife in question bristled with rage at arab (yes, i know) plots against her wardrobe. she insisted that her husband end this newest insurgent threat against dresses immediately!

he assured his wife that the matter would be taken care of.

so we immediately began discussing pretenses for and means of regime change in tehran.

there was a colonel roaming around the room who kept advocating bombimg the holy city of qom with live pigs and that we could deny involvement, then invade on the pretense of cruelty to animals.

we’re keeping that on the back burner.

many excuses were fielded, some were better defended and debated more closely, but in the ned, we decided that the pretense for invading iran would be the fact that they are counterfeiting our money.

that’s the pretense for invasion.

we decided that first, we needed to ‘soften’ any potential resistance by flooding the country with porn. hence, the picture i have posted. dc chapter members of the vrwc are hard at work at this very moment locating young ladies of iranian descent who can be duped into posing for pics, and working as webcam girls. the internet spam will be released next week. we’re telling them it is their duty as potential american citizens to remove the last vestiges of the iranian state and be ‘reborn’ as new modern women. suckers. they are getting citizenship for it though.

it was also decided, in deference to the lady dressed in wine, that the kickoff point for our internet campaign will be shiraz, iran.

so vrwc members worldwide. you must begin scouring the internet for email addresses in shiraz, and send them porno. you must do it for western civilization.

i bet i get hatemail!

4 Comments »

  1. Dude, what the hell? I usually don’t really comment on your political articles, but just what the hell are you talking about?

    Comment by medium john — April 14, 2004 @ 10:41 pm

  2. i’ll explain it to you at school.

    Comment by mlah — April 14, 2004 @ 10:55 pm

  3. I especially liked the thought about bombing with pigs. I’ll bet they would not come out into the streets! Savage 99

    Comment by dad — April 15, 2004 @ 3:43 pm

  4. Here you go:

    http://www.chicklust.com/persiangirls/

    Comment by me — April 19, 2004 @ 5:40 pm

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