mlah The “culture” that has evolved here isn’t conducive to sissies

February 26, 2004

How big is an inch?

Filed under: Whining — mlah @ 8:16 pm

Some random model!

i went to the store yesterday to buy some new jeans. sounds simple enough doesn’t it? you go in, you pick out your size, if you can find them, and you pay.

but noooooooo, nothing can be that easy.

well, i thought it would be that easy, and in fact, i did just what i said above. except i made one small change, that totally messed me up.

first off, the photo is some random model from a penney’s ad. face it, you’d rather be looking at her than me…. back to my whining.

i usually pick up a pair of 501s at penney’s while i’m in the mall. but one of my friends at work, who i like to call ‘simplyme’ was bragging about how efficient a shopper she is. how she can always get super great deals by shopping around a little, and going wholesale.

ok, so i’m a retard for paying retail. i figured i’d listen up, and save myself a few bucks by following her advice.

so i went on a jeans hunting expedition that has lasted for near two weeks now. i started at target, stopped by burlington. made repeated trips to numerous stores and just could not find my size.

so i finally broke down and went to kmart. they sell wranglers. no big deal right? jeans are jeans. and let’s face it. i’m not exactly a fashion model so wranglers, levis, lee, they’re all the same to me.

or so i thought.

i bought wranglers. no i didn’t try them on. i know what size i wear. 36-34’s. so the inseam is 34″. and an inch is an inch is an inch. they should fit.

now i could understand a little play in the seat, or the legs being tighter or looser. after all, every company uses a different pattern? but the waist measurement, and the inseam. hey, an inch is an inch.


these damn things go all the way down my foot. i washed them 4 times thinking they might shrink up some. they did a little. of course i didn’t keep the receipt.

i think i’ll just buy levis.

or take simplyme shopping with me.

and off the subject, here are a couple of things i enjoy.

the Carnival of the Vanities

and i’m 57% southern, how much yankee or southerner are you?


  1. first off, I don’t know what being a yankee or southerner has to do with jeans, but that quiz is bull. It said I’m 62% dixie, and I’ve lived in Maryland all my life. There’s no way I’m more southern than Mlah. Seriously.

    Comment by john sc — February 26, 2004 @ 9:11 pm

  2. Good thing penises don’t shrink when you wash them either. Those inches do count.

    Comment by Madame Butterfly — February 26, 2004 @ 9:22 pm

  3. By the way, I scored a 74%. Guess living in Northern Florida (or the lower half of Georgia) paid off somehow????

    Madame B

    Comment by Madame B — February 26, 2004 @ 9:48 pm

  4. The thing with Wranglers is that they’re cut long so that they can be shortened according to the heel height of your boots.

    I wore nothing but Wrangler jeans for years. Well…Wranglers and boots. Oh..yeah. And a shirt on occasion. You know, in case I wanted to go out in public.

    Comment by Da Goddess — February 26, 2004 @ 11:31 pm

  5. I tested out at 73% Dixie on the test. I was told when I was a young man that washing your penis with soap frequently would make it grow. Urban myth!! savage 99

    Comment by Dad — February 27, 2004 @ 12:26 am

  6. I took the Dixie test a few weeks ago, and scored a 61% Dixie…go figure…Texas, Alabama, SC…been southern all my life. Shoulda scored higher I think.

    Comment by Melissa — April 6, 2004 @ 8:21 pm

  7. I have my jeans hand made. There is this little old Italian woman who likes to do this for me. It’s not too too expensive.

    So there!!!!


    Comment by Marko — October 23, 2005 @ 10:16 am

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