mlah The “culture” that has evolved here isn’t conducive to sissies

February 7, 2004

You Can’t See Me

Filed under: Humor — mlah @ 11:18 pm

know why? because i’m invisible.

so i’m a little superstitious. i knock on wood. i throw salt over my shoulder. i walk around ladders. i have a lucky shirt. 23 and 15 are my lucky numbers.

when i go to vegas, i lose money because i am there to gamble. when i go with friends to someplace that happens to have some slots or blackjack and i play while waiting, i win money. (knock knock knock knock knock, there must be five knocks after all)

i don’t give knives as presents, i sell them. i throw salt over my shoulder. i freaked when one of my best friends had drinks with his fiance’ the night before their wedding. O.U. lost the sugar bowl because i was sitting on the wrong end of my couch.

the list goes on and on.

so why am i invisible?

for some strange reason, there is an abundance of cars here in maryland with a headlight out. you all KNOW what that means. whenever you see a car with one headlight out, you have to knock on the windshield.

it is an IMPERATIVE! you see, knocking on the glass makes you invisible to cops.

no, really. no…… really. Really man, they totally can’t see you. seriously. try it.

knock on the glass. don’t get tickets. what do you have to lose? and you must knock on the glass BEFORE the car passes you. you don’t have much time. and if you manage to hit the glass as you traverse an intersection; well, you’re just the bomb. you’re like double invisible to cops.

all my friends seem to think i’m wrong about this. they keep telling me i’m wrong, and they keep on writing checks out to the cops……

(knock knock knock knock knock)….

3 Comments »

  1. Mlah-
    Do the cops like buttwarmers? That could bring you double good luck as well! 😉

    MB

    Comment by Madame Butterfly — February 8, 2004 @ 7:41 am

  2. This is sort af vaguely related… I speed a lot so you know what I did to make it safer? I bought a silver car. Read this: http://www.detnews.com/2003/autosinsider/0312/21/autos-13940.htm . Okay… so I read that article and I have been dying for an excuse to share the link… so sue me… well… don’t sue me… I have no money…!!!

    Comment by SEAN!!! — February 10, 2004 @ 6:50 pm

  3. A simple case of proxy magick. Bypassing “Lust of Result” (i.e., the more you want and wish for and work towards a desired result, the less likely it is to occur) requires the use of a symbolic proxy instead. By focusing your energy on the proxy (an object, symbol, phrase, action, etc.) rather than on the result it represents, your attention is more effective in reprogramming your mind (and some may say, reality itself) towards the desired result. The more abstract and less directly representative of the result the proxy you choose, the more effective that proxy is at bypassing Lust of Result. Wanna be invisible to cops? Don’t worry about it and don’t get paranoid, as those are counterproductive; simply use a ritual proxy, such as rapping on the windshield. You will drive and act in a less attention-drawing manner, and will tend to avoid squadcars (some would go so far as to suggest that the squadcars mysteriously turn away from you at opportune moments, and you turn away from squadcars before you even notice they’re there).

    Comment by Mnsgr. Laszlo — February 12, 2004 @ 12:36 am

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